In light of the Sandra Bullock-Jesse James scandal, Times op-ed columnist David Brooks asked the question: Would you exchange a tremendous professional triumph for a severe personal blow?
Then he answered it: If you had to take more than three seconds to think about this question, you are absolutely crazy.
Brooks goes on to cite research about what exactly makes people happiest in life. I really suggest reading the entire article. But if you just want the highlights, here they are:
- Marital happiness is far more important than anything else in determining personal well-being. If you have a successful marriage, it doesn’t matter how many professional setbacks you endure, you will be reasonably happy. If you have an unsuccessful marriage, it doesn’t matter how many career triumphs you record, you will remain significantly unfulfilled.
- On a personal scale, winning the lottery doesn’t seem to produce lasting gains in well-being. People aren’t happiest during the years when they are winning the most promotions. Instead, people are happy in their 20’s, dip in middle age and then, on average, hit peak happiness just after retirement at age 65.
- The daily activities most associated with happiness are sex, socializing after work and having dinner with others. The daily activity most injurious to happiness is commuting.
- According to one study, joining a group that meets even just once a month produces the same happiness gain as doubling your income. According to another, being married produces a psychic gain equivalent to more than $100,000 a year.
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